My Thoughts……
In an effort to revamp my blogs,and still maintain the essence of me in both,I decided to change the structure of this blog. www.iheartsoul.blogspot.com will still remain the number ne log on finding out about events,lifestyle,news,fashion and anything else going on in melbourne and beyond,with a much lighter approach and wittier then soulsista. The reason for the change is,I want this blog to express my life lessons with people.
They say to write well,is to write what you know and this is what Soulsista is bout. Those little lessons I have learnt or still learning on a journey to self discovery. So wthout further ado,here we go…
Okay,so last night me and my lovely housemates went out to see the Sex and City Movie (great movie) ad it had me thinking on the way home and during our conversations about boys (yes men,we like calling them boys,its sounds so young,innocent and fun,whereas men,seems old,straight-to-the-point,seriuos)…anyway,I was thinking about being single and why society views it as a bad thing…take Bridget Jones,the minute she goes to dinner with couples of married people,they bombard her with questions of ‘why are there so many single women Bridget’ and it’s almost as if it’s a crime to be single…Coupled with celebrity driven media of women young people look up to happily canoodling in public showing off their love and selling this image that when you have the career,the man,the body,the house…(and the list goes on),you’re happy?
What’s a girl to do? Spend her hard earned cash to buy the hottest outfit so she can look hot so that ‘perfect’ guy will sweep her off her feet (albeit in a trashy nightclub-yes,I too have fallen victim to this tragic-ness *sighs*) and complement your (seemingly) perfect life? No i hear? Well let me tell you,I know alot of women who talk about ‘Independence,Girl Power’ and the like and turn around and spend wads of cash to buy the latest dress or spend shitload of money on hair and the like so that eventually a guy will notice. Now,let me elaborate on that,I’m not saying all women splurge on themselves for men,gosh no,but I believe subconciuosly,it is to attract a mate or get the attention from the opposite sex (or even the same sex)…Why? Well,it’s a confidence booster and I think defeats the purpose of ‘doing it for yourself?’….
So,my point is what? Well,What I have learnt for sure is that as much as we try not to think society influences our decisions,it does,family,friends,TV,the internet,Movies all play a part in having that ‘pefect lifestyle’ but to be honest,there is no such thing. I measure my perfection by my successes and triumphs,to me that brings long lasting happiness. I used to fret about what people thought about me and even tried to change myself so that these people would like me. I have dated guys who have made my friends go ‘What-the-F$@! Santi?’ and it had nothing to do with them (the guy) but everything to do with me. I thought by dating someone,anyone,it would feel the void inside,the insecurities,the lonliness,but all it did was make everything worse. And then I discovered a little friend called ‘food’ whom I now use when I’m hurting on the inside (a story for another day…). But coming back to this ‘perfecion syndrome’ as I like to call it, alot of young women are being sold a lifestyle that’s not REAL! How many times have you picked up an article about a woman who had it all but gave it up because she wasn’t happy? And how many times have you said after reading the article ’shit,if that was me,I would be hella happy…why she complaining?’
I,too,once again,am guilty of such comments. I guess we look at what everyone else and what they have and as they appear (appear being the key wod here ladies) happy,we believe that with the right man,all our problems will be solved…nuh uh girlfriend! And I should know…I can’t count the number of times I have cried myself to sleep thinking there’s something wrong with me…Why didn’t he call? Am I too fat? Maybe I’m too dark? Too smart? And the list would go on and until you find a. a replacement b. food c. replacement AND food,you never really get over the cut…But I learnt something,that to move on with my life,I have to address the issue and not pretend it never happened…I’m not one to sing praises about my exes,but you won’t find me bitching about them and blaming them for everything that went wrong in my life,I’m responsible for me,and the minute you really realise that,you are one step in the right direction.
I’m a work-in-progress at the moment…so,my little piece of unsolicited advice? Enjoy being single and in your 20’s…we have the rest of our lives to get it right,and never compare what others have with yourself,we’re all different and life is not a race,sometimes we’re ahead,other times we’re at the back of the pack…so,eat that packet of tim tams without worrying about how many calories you just consumed and just enjoy it! No I ain’t saying go out and eat tim tam’s everyday,ooh child,no! Moderation…treat yourself,because you deserve it,love yourself,just the way you are…its the only body you’ll have and external measures like plastic surgery won’t change the way you see yourself…I find as young women,we criticise ourselves waay too much! Give yourself a break…the fact that you were born makes you worthy of living and if you still hate being single and think a man will solve all you problems,bear this in mind,being single means that you are no longer subjected to unrequested galnces at skid marked briefs…eeww,they’re snoring waking you up in the middle of the night,not putting the toilet seat down,complaining that you spend soo much money on clothes when they don’t think twice about dropping a grand on the latest and greatest invention! So ladies,if you’re home alone on a Friday night,watching a romantic comedy that’s been overplayed on Tv and glancing at your mobile phone in hopes that your prince charming will call and save you from your miserable life,just be glad that you can enjoy your own company,laugh at the people in relationships that fight over which way to squeeze the toothpaste, and just be grateful that you don’t have to pick up after anyone but yourself….skid marks a convincing visual?!
